Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
