and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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