I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
