No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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