Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize