he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
