Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
