Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
so much tequila, so little girl.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
