i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
