Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
