In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
