if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
The convent might be a nice break from real life
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
