Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize