I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Randomize
