You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
