I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Randomize
