But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
