There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
