No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
