This girl is more easily done than said...
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
