Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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