Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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