I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i will never coherently bang her
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize