happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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