we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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