A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
