some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
