I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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