You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
