Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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