are you still at the devil's house?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
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