it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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