There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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