Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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