Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
NoShamevember. You game?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
