get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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