I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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