it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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