I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
