god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
