Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
