Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You took a bar mat shot.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My vagina is officially offended.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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