I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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