the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
