Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
