dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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