Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize