Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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