I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
do herpes really smell.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
