whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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