On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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