i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm way too hungover for life right now
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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