just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
