Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
