had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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