omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
