Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
