My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
