It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
she told me i tasted like america
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
