Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
