I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
