everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
