How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
