she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
