I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
