the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
