The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
