I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
