guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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